so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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