is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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