Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
