the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
