i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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