it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
