Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
