Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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