on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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