listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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