You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
