You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
