well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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