She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
