Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
as a side note pls kill me
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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