Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
