you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
