I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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