It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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