If i come over, it means nothing
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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