Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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