Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
