Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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