so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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