Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
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I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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