am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
