i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
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Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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