If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he was CRYING into my vagina
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
