in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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