ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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