i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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