So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
