Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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