before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
