i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
