last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
