I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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