census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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