she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize