I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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