It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
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I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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