Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
The uberlube is also flammable
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
