Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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