suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Houston, we have a blender
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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