If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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