The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
