you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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