You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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