I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
