I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
