she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
