my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
