We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
