he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize