when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize