chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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