My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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