history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
