The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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