I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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