Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
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